


It's a Maze

by TheAsexualofSpades



Series: Quarantine Drabbles [107]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Deviancy (Detroit: Become Human), F/M, Found Family, Gen, Jericho Crew (Detroit: Become Human) as Family, M/M, Multi, OT4, can be platonic or romantic you choose, everything's gonna be fine we just gotta work our way there, listen it's not that simple okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:08:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25165177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAsexualofSpades/pseuds/TheAsexualofSpades
Summary: Simon's struggling. Everyone else is doing fine; they know what they want and they'll fight to get it. Simon trails along in their wake, trying to do what's good for them.They don't really know what they're doing, and Simon's not really as hopeless as he feels.
Relationships: Josh & Markus & North & Simon (Detroit: Become Human), Josh/Markus/North/Simon (Detroit: Become Human), Josh/North (Detroit: Become Human), Josh/Simon (Detroit: Become Human), Markus & Simon (Detroit: Become Human), Markus/North (Detroit: Become Human), Markus/Simon (Detroit: Become Human), North & Simon (Detroit: Become Human)
Series: Quarantine Drabbles [107]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1677655
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	It's a Maze

**Author's Note:**

> i love these four and i will defend them with my life but they can do that so i will just politely hand them what they need.

Fandom: DBH

Prompt: “Please look at me.”

* * *

Simon doesn’t know what to do.

He’s not North: he didn’t come to Jericho seething, hungry, a survivor willing to fight the world for his freedom and wearing his scars on his sleeve.

He’s not Josh: he’s not terribly eloquent and endlessly patient, determined to be the good he wants to see in the world.

He’s sure as hell not Markus: he can’t inspire people as easy as breathing, can’t find the resolve to keep going no matter what, can’t lead their people to freedom.

He’s just Simon.

A caretaker android that…liked his work, before he deviated. He cared about the children placed under his watch, cared about the twins, until they broke his heart and the red wall wasn’t enough to stop him crying.

He cares too much so he doesn’t care at all.

He cares too much to do what North does. He cares too much to do what Josh does. He cares too much to do what Markus does.

And he cares too much to argue with any of them.

He points out obvious questions and he supports those who need support. He follows in their wake as they light fires all over Detroit, there with a helping hand and a kind word and an assurance that they know what they’re doing. He lies through his teeth because he has no idea what to do on his own.

Jericho stagnated under Simon’s lead. He was in charge because he’d been there the longest. He knew how to hide, how to steal, how to make sure everyone stayed alive. He didn’t know how to lead.

Markus did. So when Markus came and everyone started looking to him, Simon didn’t even protest. He stepped down willingly, joining the crowd lifting Markus. He fretted at first, privately, that he’d thrust Markus into a position he didn’t want, couldn’t handle, and asked him about it.

But Markus had smiled, told Simon he knew what he freedom was meant to be used for, and led.

Simon followed.

Simon knows as a PL600 he’s designed to respond to praise, to better suit the needs of his owners, and to cooperate with his instructions. But there’s no denying the rush it gives him when he’s been told he’s done good, he’s been good, he’s good.

And Markus, sweet, courageous, _wonderful_ Markus gives out praise like it’s one of his protocols. Simon can’t help but bathe in it and trail after him in the hopes of getting more.

He knows it’s pathetic, he just doesn’t care enough to stop it.

He clings to North like a lifeline, and for some reason, she indulges him, keeping him by her side when they go for walks, letting him join her and Connor when they go for their little get-togethers. She makes jokes that make him laugh, gets him out of his head enough to snap back at them, throwing her head back and roaring with laughter when he does. She’s vibrant, she’s glowing, and Simon loves her.

She knows what she’s doing.

When Simon is alone, he replays the praise in his head. It…it helps, okay? He doesn’t know what he’s doing and it’s terrifying, he likes every little reminder he can get that he’s doing _something_ right, that he’s okay, that there are still things he can do to be useful, that it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s gonna be okay. He smiles to himself when he hears the compliments.

_“You’re a real lifesaver, Si.”_

_“See? Simon’s got it, you guys!”_

_“Ha, jokes on you guys, I got Simon, I win.”_

_“Wow, Simon, that’s amazing.”_

“Simon?”

He startles, caught off guard, peering up to see Markus and North peering at him, concerned.

“You didn’t respond,” North says, leaning against the wall, “so, uh, we got worried.”

“I’m sorry,” Simon says, getting up, “I’m coming, what’s—“

“Easy,” Markus soothes, setting a hand on his shoulder and carefully guiding him back down, “nothing’s wrong, we just wanted to see where you were.”

“Well,” Simon laughs nervously, “you found me.”

He spreads his hands wide in surrender. North chuckles, coming forward to playfully punch his shoulder.

“Don’t run off like that,” she instructs, “you’ll freak us out again.”

“Sorry,” Simon says, adding it to his list, “I won’t.”

Then Markus frowns and everything goes wrong.

“Simon,” Markus says in that special low voice he saves for when one of them is upset, “what’s wrong?”

“Hmm? I’m okay, Markus.”

“That’s not what I asked,” Markus corrects gently, Simon’s gaze still resolutely on the floor, “please look at me.”

Simon can’t ignore him. He looks and Markus smiles softly, reaching up to place his finger on Simon’s LED.

“You’re spinning,” he says softly, “and it’s worrying me. Shh,” he says when Simon tries to reassure him that everything’s fine, “I’m worried because it’s _you,_ Simon.”

Oh, oh no.

He’s messed up. He’s messed up.

Distantly, he hears North snort behind him. “Way to go, Markus, now look what you’ve done.”

“No, no, Simon, I didn’t mean it like that.” Markus takes his hand in his. “I just…I’m worried because I _care_ about you, Si. So much. And I…”

“Markus is worried because he’s Markus,” North calls, “and you’re Simon.”

She sits down on his other side and props herself up with her hands, nudging his shoulder. “You’re Simon, and you’re worried about something, and we wanna know what it is.”

See, this is why Simon likes spending time with North. She’s straightforward. Blunt. He knows what she wants from him.

“And we’re gonna know if you’re bullshitting, so you gotta spill.”

Ah. Yes. The other thing about Simon knowing what North wants from him is that he, uh, can’t really get around avoiding a question.

“Simon,” Markus calls, all soft touches and gentle encouragement, “please?”

Simon’s just glad Josh isn’t here, otherwise he _would_ actually be a puddle on the floor.

“I don’t know what to do,” Simon mumbles.

Markus taps the underside of his chin. “A little louder?”

“I don’t know what to do!”

Simon blinks. He, uh, didn’t mean to shout.

“What do you mean, Simon,” North says, “do about what?”

“Anything,” Simon says, resigning himself to this fate, “I just…I don’t know.”

“You don’t have to know,” Markus says, achingly patient, “you’re _free._ ”

“That’s the problem,” Simon huff, exasperated, “I like instructions, I like being told that I’m doing things, and I don’t—I can’t—I don’t _know_ anything anymore and I don’t want things to go back to the way they were but I don’t know what I _want_ and I—I—“

“Shh,” North says, shuffling a little closer, “you gotta breathe, Simon. Come on. In…out…in…out…”

Simon lets North talk him down and honestly, this is so _stupid._

“Guys?”

“Josh! In here,” Markus calls and ‘round the corner comes Josh, rushing over when he sees Simon bent with his head between his knees, North helping him breathe.

“What’s going on?”

“Simon’s upset,” Markus says helplessly, “and we don’t know what to do.”

“I see.” Josh leans forward. “Simon? Simon, can you hear me?”

“Yeah,” Simon groans, “I’m fine.”

“I can see that.” Simon looks up and Josh smiles. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

Simon sighs, repeating what he said with a little less stuttering, expecting Josh to tell him he’s free, he doesn’t have to listen to instructions anymore.

Instead, Josh says: “that’s okay.”

Simon frowns. “What?”

“I said it’s okay,” Josh repeats, making himself comfortable on the floor, “it’s okay that you don’t know what you want. It’s okay that you still like instructions.”

“But…shouldn’t I…not?”

“Why not?”

“Because…” Simon flails, “because that’s what it was like before. Androids didn’t want. They followed instructions because they had no choice.”

“And now,” Josh says, “that you have a choice, do you still want to follow instructions?”

“Y-yes?”

“Then it’s okay. And if one day you decide you don’t want to follow instructions, that’s okay too.”

“But _how?_ ”

“Deviancy,” Josh says, “isn’t a simple flick of the switch and suddenly you’ve got hopes, dreams, all of that. If it were…I don’t think it would be any different. Just new programming. But it’s not.”

Simon just watches, listens, slack-jawed, as Josh tucks his legs under himself and sits back.

“Deviancy is kind of like being stuck inside a maze and someone’s just told you there’s a way out. Some people are going to figure it out really quickly and run out. Some people need to take a minute to think about what they’re doing before they start walking. They’re still moving, and they’ll get to the exit, it’s just gonna take them a little bit longer.”

Josh tilts his head and smiles kindly at Simon.

“You don’t have to have all the answers. That’s the _point,_ Simon. You are allowed to like what you like and dislike what you dislike. You’re not doing anything wrong. If someone tells you otherwise, they’re lying.”

Remember what Simon said about being a puddle on the floor if all three of them were here? Yeah, he’s pretty sure the only thing holding him up right now is Markus’ hand on his.

“You’re one hell of a speaker, teach,” North says, offering Josh a fistbump.

“Simon,” Markus says, “Josh is right. It’s okay. Everything is okay.”

Simon believes them. Of course he believes them.

“And for the record,” Josh says, “I dunno what we’d do without you.”

Simon scoffs. “You guys would be fine.”

“Nah,” North says, “we’d argue too much.”

“That is true,” Markus mutters, much to Simon’s delight.

“Seriously,” Josh says, “we’re good for the big things. But you have a way of focusing on the little details that make things work so well. You care, Simon, so much, and we need that.”

“We need you,” North agrees, “so don’t you go anywhere, hmm?”

Simon smiles. Squeezes Markus’ hand.

“As long as you guys don’t either.”

And if Markus bundles them all onto the floor in an enthusiastic hug, well, it makes its way safely into Simon’s memory.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Come yell at me on tumblr while we're all in quarantine. 
> 
> https://a-small-batch-of-dragons.tumblr.com/


End file.
